There is a big disclaimer to this blog...because I have absolutely no idea what I am talking about. For starters, I am not a mother. And second, I have never lost a child. But this was on my heart from the moment I woke up today until I wrote the blog. And I am learning when God puts it on my heart...it's for a reason.
Although I may not be the mother of a child that has died, I have been surrounded by mothers of dying children for the last ten years. Both in my career and in my personal life, God has blessed me to know such incredible women that are able to persevere through this insurmountable pain. One of my college roommates lost her younger brother several years before college and her mother shared with me something I will never forget. She told me she often felt like a misfit in society because there really wasn't a place for the mother of a child that died. When you lose your spouse, you are a widow or widower. It is fairly normal to lose your parents. But when you lose a child....there is nothing for you. I'll never forgot the pain in those words.
I started my day by sending a message to a childhood friend's mother...because today marked the 1 year anniversary of day she lost her son. And I can't imagine how a mother is supposed to get through days like today. It just doesn't seem fair. And I had absolutely nothing to offer her...in fact I even wrote, "There are no words so I just pray." And I lifted her up in prayer all day long. And this led me to lifting up all the mothers in my life that have lost a child. So if you are in my life (or I cared for your child when they were fighting for life!) and you have suffered this unbearable, indescribable loss...please know you were in my prayers today. And you aren't alone. You are never alone...no matter if it feels that way. When you feel like a misfit in society remember God surrounds you in love. You aren't a misfit to God...God gave you the honor of being a mother to a child that would only be on this earth for a short period of time. He picked YOU to be their mom because He knew you were strong enough and would be able to impact them in such a short period of time. Several years ago, I was caring for a sweet girl that was losing the battle for life and her amazing parents decided it was time to stop the fight. Her mother said to me, "God gave her to us 8 months ago and it's time for us to give her back to Him." In that moment, I saw love like never before. Love for both God and child. That is one amazing mother. Not all mothers could do that. So remember, there is a reason why God trusted YOU to be the mother of a child that died.
So even when you can't feel it, He is there loving you. And because of this love you will make it. And you will make your child very proud. And please know, there are women around you, admiring you and your strength. Even in your greatest moment of weakness, you are strong. And we all see it.
And please remember...you are not alone. And it's okay to weep and mourn and cry and scream....yesterday, today and tomorrow. This doesn't reflect your strength, it reflects your loss. And it's okay. Remember Mary, the mother of Jesus, had to witness her Son on the cross. And God provided a disciple to comfort her...
Standing near the cross were Jesus' mother, and his mother's sister, Mary (the wife of Clopas), and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother standing there bedside the disciple he loved, he said to her, "Woman, he is your son." And he said to this disciple, "She is your mother." And from then on this disciple took her into his home.
So during the tough moments...remember to let others take you in and care for you. It isn't weakness, it is part of God's plan. It's part of Him surrounding you in love.
Incredible women, God's plan, and a whole lot of weeping,
Just a few reflections about everything God is teaching me in this life...a journey deeper into His purpose for my life.