Journey Deeper

The Supreme Court ruled in favor of gay marriage today.  And yet tonight, I feel the need to get on my knees and pray.  I am sure you are thinking...great, another conservative Christian praying for all the gays in the world to repent.  Sorry to disappoint you, but not this conservative Christian.  I am praying God forgives our world for all the hatred emerging due to this decision.

I do not believe the Supreme Court's decision was based on the Bible (See 1 Corinthians 6:9-11).  However, the Supreme Court doesn't actually have to base any of their rulings on the Bible.  I do truly believe the Supreme Court based a decision on equality.  And equality is very much threaded throughout the Bible.

In God's eyes we are all equal.  Unfortunately, we are only equal because we are ALL sinners.  There isn't a single one among us that is not.  So whether or not I think being gay is a sin is irrelevant to the overall story.  We all sin.  I am so very thankful to be equal in God's eyes and to be covered in His Grace.  Without it I would be lost in eternity. 

Romans 2:11
For God does not show favoritism.

I am not only praying for the hate to dissipate but I am asking God to humble me.  To help me realize how much my beliefs may hurt someone, if I decide not to act in love.  I pray He helps me stand firm in my faith through a stance of love and not hate.  I pray God helps me display His overwhelming, tremendous, unconditionally love equally to everyone that crosses my path.  I pray not a single one of my gay friends EVER feels anything but love, respect and honor for the person they are from me.  I pray that my friends (both gay and straight) never hold anything against me or treat me any different because they disagree with me or think I make a decision not aligned with their beliefs.  I pray our differences never ever divide us.  I absolutely believe in equality...we are equally blessed with His Sacrifice, His love and His forgiveness.  No matter our list of sins. 

Romans 3:23
For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard.

I pray Christians around the world hold each other accountable for the hatred some of us are showing.  For the wrong we are doing to others and for the superiority we are displaying based on one piece of instruction in the Bible, while simultaneously forgetting several other commandments in the Bible.  You aren't allowed to pick one piece of the Bible to judge another person on...you have to apply it in it's wholeness.  As I read statements praising gay pride and equally hating on it...I am quickly reminded that pride is actually a sin.  It is very easy to go from feeling equal to feeling superior.  And I ask God to humble my butt right back to where it belongs....kneeling before Him.

Proverbs 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.

Today was actually a sad day for me.  The sadness was not based on the Supreme Court's decision but the reaction to the decision by many of my brothers and sisters in Christ.  However, I am reassured by the array of rainbows throughout our country.  While the rainbow may symbolize gay pride to many...it is actually a reminder of the covenant between God and all living creatures.  It reminds me that the storm will pass and that life will persevere.

Genesis 9: 14-15
When I send clouds over the earth, the rainbow will appear in the clouds, and I will remember my covenant with you and with all living creatures.  Never again will the floodwaters destroy all life.

To rainbows, peace and love,

Ashley Lucille

Last Christmas my mom gave me a Roomba.   For the non-Roomba savvy folks, it's an automatic vacuum cleaner.   But I promise this blog isn't about the wonders of a vacuum cleaner.  Well...maybe it kinda is.  At first I was intrigued because you literally  program it and it cleans whenever your heart desires.  You don't even have to be home for it to do it's thing!  No more gritty floors...no more dog hair....no more dirt.  I come home to clean floors everyday.  However, I am realizing how much more the Roomba brings to life than just a clean floor.

Roomba gives me a little extra time in my day to spend with friends and family.  Many friends and family asked me why I took a hiatus from blogging.  And this is best explained through the Roomba.  Time is limited--you only get 24 hours in a day to do and see everything you desire.  And how you choose  to spend your time is a rather personal decision.  The last 7 months of school involved some intense work and MANY MANY MANY hours of writing and  data entry.  And just for fun, due to a home robbery, I got to re-do the majority of data entry and a good bit of writing (Note: There were many tears involved in re-doing data entry and writing.  You definitely get a sense of academic "rock bottom" when you realize 24 months of work has just been stolen from you...10 weeks before it is due.)  Anyhow, the time spent on schoolwork was significant and rather consuming.  So time outside of school was mostly consumed with work, eating and sleeping.  I chose to spend any and everything bit of time in between with my family and close friends rather than blogging.  I dedicated time to go to church.  I took advantage of breakfast dates with my grandpa. I spent time with my parents.  I enjoyed weekend visits with my sister, niece and nephews.  I chose to invest time building a relationship with a great man rather than blogging.   And even with dedicating all the in between minutes to family and friends, these relationships still suffered.  I have many friendships I feel as though I am repairing because I have been absent.  But at the end of the day there is only so much time and I did the best I could with the time I had.  But I had to let go of blogging, at least momentarily.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned over the past 4 years, both through school and in life, is the value of spending time with people.  And that is where Roomba takes center stage.  My Roomba just symbolizes time I get to spend with people.  Although I adore my old chocolate lab and cannot imagine my life without him, the amount of dog hair he leaves behind is less than desirable.  It might seem really, really silly but the fact I don't have to spend an hour a day cleaning up the dog hair gives me time to spend where it matters.  It allows me to focus on other things.  Things that are way more important than worrying about cleaning or tidying my house.

Luke 10: 38-42
As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home.  His sister, Mary, sat at the Lord's feet, listening to what he taught.  But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. {-OR cleaning dog hair off the floor...insert whatever task in your life is shifting your time and focus from what really matters-)  She came to Jesus and said, "Lord, doesn't it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work?  Tell her to come and help me."  But the Lord said to her, "My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details!  These is only one thing worth being concerned about.  Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her."

So identify your distraction and find your Roomba.  Don't let the housework, schoolwork, work work, or the general craziness of life, distract you from spending time where it matters.  Find whatever "Roomba" you need to give you time to fellowship and spend time with your friends and family.  You never know when your time with them is up.  And don't let your focus be away from God.  Roomba away the distraction so you can focus your time on God, family and friends!

God, family and friends,

Ashley Lucille

Bruce Jenner is NOT how I saw myself making a comeback to the blogging world. However, I can't quite shake this overwhelming feeling of frustration and sadness related to his story.  So, although I envisioned my 'comeback blog' reflecting on the last 7 months of my life, here's to a different plan.

People have called Bruce brave, courageous, heroic and honestly this frustrates me a bit.  Those are some strong words.  I think Bruce is actually lucky, or rather blessed, and probably should give thanks to those who are brave, courageous, and heroic.  Those men and women fighting for the freedom we have in this country.  The same freedom that allows him to openly be the person who he claims he needs to be.  There are countries in this world where women aren't even allowed to be women...countries that strip women of their genitalia in order that they never enjoy sex (See an amazing TED talk on this topic:  http://www.ted.com/talks/khadija_gbla_my_mother_s_strange_definition_of_empowerment).  Countries and cultures that require women to cover themselves outside of the confinement of their home.  But Bruce gets to publicize his sex change and then pose on the cover of Vanity Fair.  I'm sorry Bruce, but you aren't brave...you are lucky.  Lucky to live in a country where men and women fight for you to be whoever you feel you need to be.  Lucky to live in a society open to accept whoever you want to be, to such an extent that you get to pose on the cover of a magazine.  Lucky that so many people support your effort that my Facebook news feed is filled with people advocating for you.  So I'm sorry...you aren't brave.  You are darn lucky you have it so good that you can be whoever you want to be.  You might have tough days and criticisms...but you do actually have it good.

Now, I want to be clear.  I am not judging Bruce or Caitlin.  I don't think what he has done is right in the eyes of God...but honestly, that is between Bruce, Caitlin and God.  Ashley Collins really has no business judging him or discussing if it is right or wrong. 

The Bible is pretty clear on judgement:
James 4:12
There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy.  But you-who are you to judge your neighbor?

I have plenty of things I haven't done right in God's eyes and I'm thankful to not have the entire world judging me for my sin.  I figured when I get all the sin in my life in order, then I can start judging others.  (Wait, let me take a peak at my list of sins and struggles...folks, it's gonna be awhile!) 

Matthew 7:5
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

I also have been fortunate  (or unfortunate--depending on how you look at it) enough in life to learn to appreciate that you can't understand one's action until you've lived a similar experience.   I have no idea Bruce's struggles or battles or challenges and from the looks of it, I hope I never feel the way he has expressed to the world.  I imagine it's a dark and lonely place.  And I wonder if what Caitlin needs most is to feel loved regardless of if he is a man or a woman.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Do you not know your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your bodies.

And as I sit here and demonstrate my freedom to express my thoughts, my beliefs and my heart...I want to thank the men and women that are fighting for me at this very moment.  I want to thank your families that live their lives without your daily presence so I can continue to live and blog freely. 

To heroes, families and blogging,

Ashley Lucille