Warm and fuzzy are two words that have never been used to describe me.  I am not an emotional person despite going through some rather emotional events in life.  I am extremely uncomfortable talking about the true desires, struggles, and joys of my heart.  I prefer to stay “on the surface” with people and up to this point in my life, I thought this was working out just fine for me.  As 2013 came to an end, one of the pastors at church challenged us to let go of baggage and start the new year with a fresh heart.  The sermon was POWERFUL and it rocked me to the core.  I went home and reflected on the last several years of my life and realized that this “on the surface” state really isn’t working out so great for me after all.  And honestly, I don’t think it is really God’s plan for me.

This reflection made me realize 3 things:

1. I have been through quite a bit in my life but most of these scars are silent..
2. God has taught me so much from these scars.
3. By concealing these scars and the desires, struggles and joys in my life, I am missing out on a purpose that is bigger than me.

So with these three things…I enter the new year with a resolution to be more than “on the surface” but instead be real, vulnerable and honest with God, myself and those around me about the great, not-so-great, and downright unbearable circumstances in life.  And as I strive to let God use me for a greater purpose, I will blog.  (because let’s be honest…this is only a baby step in this journey and writing is so much easier for me than discussing my true feelings out loud!)  And with that my journey deeper begins…

Real, honest & vulnerable,
Ashley Lucille