Several weeks ago, I had to undergo something mildly risky to my health. I was a bit nervous about it until I realized there was no way God was going to call me home right now. He has been working too hard to teach me many things…I just can’t see how He would stop here.
Have you ever felt like God is working overtime on you? It gets to the point you almost wish He wouldn’t pay quite so much attention. I feel like the last 2 years of my life have been lesson after lesson after lesson. I relate this feeling to being at the beach on a particularly rough day. The waves just keep rolling in…one after another after another. Just as you feel balanced, another one hits. I have felt the pressure of waves every single day for so long, it almost feels natural to be rocked. And just when I think He is done…another lesson rolls on in.
I hear the tumult of the raging seas as your waves and surging tides sweep over me.
The lesson I am currently in the midst of ‘refusing to learn’ is this idea of embracing my wall. I have this solid wall I like to keep around me—the wall takes shape in an emotional and physical form. I feel safe and protected and in control behind this wall, so naturally it’s been really easy to ignore it exists and just remain still. But I’m slowly learning that although this wall feels like a protective barrier, it is more prohibitive than safe. It shields me from absolutely nothing. And more importantly, it doesn’t allow ‘the real me’ to shine through.
Everyone has a wall to some level. Some walls are bigger, bolder and stronger than others; these walls usually exist for reasons that are absolutely understandable. These walls have a story. Unfortunately, when we accept the reasons or story behind the wall…we get no more protection than if we just embraced it. The struggle in embracing the wall is you first have to accept it is there and then figure out a way to break through it. But this process isn’t easy and it sure ain't pretty. But God reminds us…He uses everything in our life for a purpose.
We are assured and know that all things work together and are for good to and for those who love God and are called according to His design and purpose.
You will keep on guiding me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny.
I see God moving many things into my sight that serve only to magnify my wall everyday. And every time I try to duck, run, hide or distract myself from the wall…He brings it right back into view.
So although I have secretly loved my wall…I know embracing it and tearing it down -- no matter how painful, how uncomfortable, how miserable the process might be –- will produce an end result that will be beautiful. So although these daily waves rock me over and over and over…there will be a day of peaceful serenity on the ocean. And I am nothing but excited to reach it.
No, dear brothers and sister, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.
Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later.
Here’s to embracing your wall.
Walls, waves, and peace,
Just a few reflections about everything God is teaching me in this life...a journey deeper into His purpose for my life.