Dry Spell.

To be 100% transparent, I have been going through a dry season in my faith.  I have felt completely and utterly disconnected from God.  It's been tough to find motivation to go through the motions but I have tried to remain faithful in prayer and in attending church.  I've been going through the motions waiting for God to move me.  It hasn't been easy but today I felt Him again. 

Our church has been studying the book of Ephesians so I knew we would be going over Ephesians Chapter 6 this morning.  Ephesians Chapter 6 is about parenting.  I'm not a parent and there really is no guarantee I will ever be a parent.   So I woke up this morning with really no part of me wanting to go to church.  However, these days I am used to this feeling so I pushed through and dragged my butt to church.   I really didn't expect the message to be related to my life whatsoever.  (God is literally looking down laughing at me right now...me of so little faith.)

1 Samuel 12:24
Only fear the LORD and serve Him faithfully with all your heart.  For consider what great things He has done for you.

My soul was rocked this morning.  A young youth pastor was given the opportunity to speak in the main service at church and WOW did he deliver a powerful message.  Although it was directed at parents, it was also directed at children.  Children of God.  He transformed (actually God spoke through Him) Ephesians 6:1-4 (and chapter 5) into a message about surrendering to the Will of God.  About letting go of parts of your life that you are holding onto and giving it to God.  He challenged us to walk away and live out the Gospel.  And although this pastor has no idea, he challenged me to give up a few things to God that I've been holding onto with a death grip.  Sometimes we make God out to be so small and we limit His capability in our mind.  Today I was reminded how forgiving, powerful and BIG He really is.  I had to breakdown some limits I put on God (again, He is laughing at me.)  I've made Him small.  I've looked at Him through my ability not His ability. 
My ability < His ability (by an infinite amount). 
And more importantly, today I finally felt the connection to Him that I have longed for over the past couple of months.  I walked away with hope that my dry spell may be coming to an end.  For those that do not know Him (as their Savior), I cannot describe or put into words the incredible, overwhelming feeling of God's presence in your soul.  Today was a reminder of why I serve the one and only living God.  Once again I feel His love and joy and peace.  (For my Christian readers, you know exactly how I feel...for my non-believing readers, I promise you God didn't leave my side.   Part of  faith in God is being challenged when your feelings waver -- my faith and God never wavered.  Big difference.)

Hebrews 10:23
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.

Lyrics to Jeremy Camp's "Take You Back"  (great song)
The reason why I stand, The answer lies in you
You hung to make me strong, Though my praise was few
When I fall and bring your name down, But I have found in you
A heart that pleads forgiveness, Replacing all these thoughts Of painful memories
But I know That your response will always be
[Chorus]
I'll take you back always
And even when your fight is over now
Even when your fight is over now
I'll take you back always
And even when the pain is coming through
Even when the pain is coming through
I'll take you back
You satisfy this cry Of what I'm looking for
And I take all I can And lay it down
Before the throne of endless grace, now
That radiates what's true I'm in the only place
That erases all these faults That have overtaken me
But I know That your response will always be
[Repeat Chorus]
I can only speak With a grateful heart
As I'm pierced by this gift Of your love
I will always bring an offering I can never thank you enough

I love that when we are faithful He always brings us home.  So I go forward with a renewed faith.  I assure you there is no better feeling.

Forgiven, blessed, and overwhelmed with joy,

Ashley Lucille