It's been awhile since I published a blog but I promise I have a good reason for neglecting the blog. Big changes in this life of mine.
Today was the first day of the "next chapter" of my life. On Friday, I said goodbye to a great job, close friends and a city I loved in order to pack up and move to North Carolina. For the past 11 years, I have poured my heart and soul into a career that literally sucked the life out of me. Don't get me wrong, I loved my job. And I really, really loved my team. However, I realized I was being a big fat hypocrite. When I was a new nurse, a guy ran a red light and T-boned my car. Thankfully I was ok but I did have to call out of work 1 shift due to some horrible post-crash pain. I remember the first manager I ever had calling me to say, "Ashley I am so glad you are okay...we can't afford to be down a nurse on the unit" and I remember thinking, "Lady you are crazy...when it comes to car crashes and the value of my life, work is not the priority." I have always remembered the way she made me feel and I have tried really hard to NOT be that type of manager. I have really tried to be a leader that valued life over work but at the end of the day, I have lost the value in my own life. My personal life has been squeezed in brief moments between the many demands of my work life (and for awhile school life). So about 6 months ago, I decided to make a change.
On the same trip to Scotland that Chris proposed to me, I read Jen Hatmaker's book "For the love". It was a great book and somewhere in it, she reminded her readers that we should work to live and that we should not live to work. As I reflected on her book, amongst the gorgeous highlands of Scotland, I realized I had become someone living to work. As life would have it, during this period of reflection, an amazing man proposed to me. And when I said "yes" to committing to him in marriage, I also said yes to a different life. A life that is going to teach me to live and let work be a sidekick. Today I kicked off that life.
Don't misunderstand me...I am still very much committed to being a nurse AND being a nurse leader. However, I am giving myself time to find the balance between working as a nurse leader and being a future wife and maybe even a mom. And right now this balance involves a career shift with a much different pace.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
For me, it's a season to take time to invest in people. A time for my faith to grow. A time for my love of Him to grow. A time to surrender to His plan even though it looks nothing like my original plan (or my back up plan for that matter!). AND I am also preparing to embark on one of my bucket list items...which is to write a book (Of course...this will only happen if it is God's plan!). I have mentioned wanting to do this to Chris a couple of times and possibly using a chunk of time while I am not working in a hospital to tackle this task. So last night when I arrived at my apartment in NC, I found a brand new desk and computer with a note from my love telling me the desk and computer is for my new work and hopefully inspires me to write more, since he knows how much I love writing. What a blessing to have found a man that supports me and my dreams. I am blessed.
So today was Day One of this new life. I worked exactly 5 hours (ONLY 5 HOURS - my former secretary would be so proud of me!!!). I unpacked and settled into my apartment. I actually got to workout during daylight hours. I took my elderly dog for two long walks. I went to dinner with a friend. I had time to enjoy the little things in life with a only side serving of work. Sure, one day I might get bored and decide it's time for a change. Until that time, now is the time to soak up life.
Time, work and life,
Just a few reflections about everything God is teaching me in this life...a journey deeper into His purpose for my life.