 We don't get to pick our family. And we don't get to pick our spouse's family. Family is simply put, a gift from God. (I know a good majority of readers are laughing or crying or both right now!) I know there are times when family feels more like a White Elephant gift than a gift to actually be thankful for. And maybe your family feels like a curse rather than a blessing. However, I promise that crazy family of yours is a gift and they serve a purpose in your life. Last week, my sister and I were talking about dysfunctional families and how the way a family functions shapes the way children develop. And we talked about how much you learn from the relationships in your family. Forgiveness. Understanding. Patience. Acceptance. Love. So many lessons can be learned through family. We were specifically remembering huge fights we've had between us over the years and how we learned to forgive one another and then develop and maintain a relationship through the hurt. I never really thought about it in such delicate detail, but it made me incredibly thankful I had a sister to learn forgiveness, loyalty and love from over the years. I believe family serves a significant, specific purpose in our lives. The purpose of your family may be different from the purpose of my family, but each of our families serve a purpose. Now you may be thinking to yourself, "Ashley Lucille you have no idea just how dysfunctional my family is!! The only purpose my family serves is to make my life a living hell". And you know what, you're right. I have no idea how dysfunctional your family is and YOU have no idea how dysfunctional my family is or is not. Thankfully I don't need to know the details of your family and you don't need the details of my family to realize family serves a purpose. God uses our families to carry out His purpose for our lives, no matter the depth of dysfunction embedded in our families. That's not to say, this purpose will be without pain, frustration or a battle along the way. Whenever I'm particularly frustrated with family, I somehow find my way to the book of Genesis and read about Joseph. Joseph's life is so "complicated" it would be hard to truly capture the dysfunction without a long dissertation but I'm going to paint a quick picture of his family:
I could go on but I think you get the picture. Joseph was no stranger to the concept of a dysfunctional family. And yet a very unique thing happened in Joesph's life. God used Joseph and the experience with his family for an amazing purpose. God used his dysfunctional family to carry out His purpose for Joseph's life. Joseph was not defined by his family. His family was not an excuse for him to follow in their dysfunctional footsteps. Joseph's family was the reason he overcame so much in His life. Genesis 45:5, 7-8 "And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you...But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt." (Note: Joseph is speaking to his brothers when he found them after they sold him into slavery. Can you hear the forgiveness and love in Joesph's tone?) His dysfunctional family was the reason God was able to accomplish great things. Joseph ended up being a ruler in Egypt, second only to the Pharaoh. Joseph ended up saving lives through the circumstances and lessons he learned from his dysfunctional family. (To understand the saving lives part, read the entire story in Genesis 37-50.) So although we don't get to pick our families, our families also don't get to pick how God uses them in our lives. Your family may be completely functional and serve the purpose of unconditional love and support or your family may resemble something like what you might see on The Jerry Springer Show and provide endless opportunities for you to learn difficult lessons. Either way God is using your family to carry out His purpose for your life. And that makes family a gift to cherish. Family, lessons and purpose, Ashley Lucille  My family...all of which I'm incredibly thankful to have in my life. (Although it looks like it, we did not intentionally color coordinate our wardrobe.)
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 I seem to be surrounded by pregnant friends or friends trying to get pregnant. And although I don't have kids of my own, I absolutely love the excitement around pregnancy and the joy that comes with being a mom. However, I find it interesting to watch mothers-to-be often contain or hide their joy and excitement until they deem it "safe" to share with the world. And while I understand the fear embedded in the many uncertainties that come with pregnancy, I wonder if fear is stealing our joy at times. I have a friend who has miscarried more than once in the past; she lost a baby late in pregnancy and hasn't had a baby survive through delivery. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult her pregnancy journey has been. It's been hard enough to watch her live it. My heart breaks for her. And I cover her in prayer regularly. However, I have watched her transform her pain and loss into hope and it has been absolutely amazing. She's pregnant again and she refuses to let fear of losing another baby steal her joy in the experience. I rarely catch up with her outside of social media, so I'm not even sure she realizes how incredibly inspiring she is to others. I've shared her story and her journey with friends struggling through the same fears. She posted their pregnancy test results the day they found out. She said every day counts for them so they were basically breaking the rules regarding waiting to tell people. They waited in the past and it didn't impact the end result for them. So they are taking a different approach and it has been beautiful to watch. They've shared excitement in every step of the journey and although I imagine they do hold onto fear of the unknown, she's not letting that steal her joy. I wish all my pregnant friends could come to this realization and not hold back the excitement and pure joy that should come with having life form inside you. Heck, I wish my non-preggo friends would realize how often we let fear steal our joy in everyday life. Because at the end of the day, bad things are going to happen. The great news is there is nothing that will happen in this world the Lord will not see you through. He will be your strength and perseverance through the bad experiences And its how we persevere through the bad times in life which make the greatest impact. Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you, He will never leave you nor forsake you. This is a great reminder for all of us. If we live in constant fear of the many "what ifs" in life, we lose out on enjoying life. So cast your fears to the Lord and soak up the journey. Celebrate the here and now and leave tomorrow, well...for tomorrow. I should probably add a small disclaimer that I have no idea what it feels like to lose a baby or lose a child. I don't even know what it feels like to be pregnant. However, I've stood by many friends who have miscarried and I've cared for many dying babies in the hospital setting. And there is an unique heartbreak in putting a dying baby into the arms of a mother or father when your entire job is to make their baby better. So I confess, I'm writing these thoughts from a tender place of observation and not personal experience. For those parents who have gone through this horrible experience, I understand fear is very, very real to you. I'm just sharing an outsider's perspective and admiring one mother who has seemed to conquer her fear to live out her joy. So don't miss out on the joy and excitement in life waiting for something bad to happen. And to my many pregnant friends...I am praying for you on this beautiful journey. Pregnancy, babies and bundles of joy, Ashley Lucille   It's been an incredibly emotional week in the wake of losing a friend to a drunk driving accident. Yesterday I was a crying mess. I cried as I tried to work. I cried in the car. I cried at Walmart and Petco. Tears even ran down my eyes as I tried to fall asleep last night. The emotion of the week definitely got the best of me. Tears of sorrow and tears of anger.
Last night another friend from childhood summed it up best with a Facebook post reading "With one bad decision from a stranger, her future was taken from us in a heartbeat. I've been sad and hurt but more than anything I've been angry. Angry at a stranger." This describes the roller coaster of my emotions this week; emotions that have landed on anger. I'm angry at this stranger who stole her life and I'm angry at myself for the times in my past I was behind the wheel of a car and shouldn't have been. And I'm broken hearted because Caroline had so much living left to do. However, my friend continued his Facebook post by reminding us we need to try and forget the drunk driver so we can elevate the memory of Caroline. The lives she touched (she was a teacher) and the fact she always marched to the beat of her own drum. And he is 100% right (Thanks Tom!). I've let myself focus on the evil in the situation and if I focus too long on this stranger, I'm going to lose the memory of Caroline. I'm going to miss the lessons she taught us. If I let anger dwell in my heart too long, the stranger wins. Evil wins. And evil never actually wins in the end. Psalm 37:7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently from him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret - it leads only to evil. For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land. A little while, and the wicked will be no more, though you look for them, they will not be found. But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy peace and prosperity. Sometimes I have to remind myself evil doesn't win in the end. I mean, I know that and I read that in the bible but I don't always live that out in a confident spirit. We are surrounded by evil people and evil things and it's so easy to get lost in your present circumstances, whatever they may be, and lose sight of the hope we have in Jesus. It's easy to focus on the evil but when we do not make a conscious effort to shift focus, we run the risk of anger and bitterness taking up residence in our hearts. And Caroline would never have allowed anger and bitterness to permanently reside in her heart. She always moved on. She always moved forward no matter the setbacks. So I'm following her lead. Tears, memories and hope, Ashley Lucille  Yesterday a friend I've stayed in touch with since Kindergarten died. A drunk driver hit her early Sunday morning. The news media refers to him as an "alleged drunk driver" however he has a prior arrest history including a DUI so I think we can drop the "alleged". A drunk driver killed my friend.
Everyone who grew up with Caroline is remembering her exactly how they should, as a shining star. A spunky, confident shining star. It's really hard to believe how quickly her light went out. And since a drunk driver stole her light from us, naturally every friend is asking others not to drink and drive. However, I have to wonder if people mean "please don't drink and drive" or "please don't drive drunk" because our society has a strange way of distinguishing between these two phrases. Public service announcement folks: there is no difference. They are one in the same. I learned this on my first date with my husband. I'll never forget my first date with Chris. One of the things that first attracted me to him had absolutely nothing to do with his stunning good looks, his gentlemen charm or the fact he is a fighter pilot. Oddly, it had to do with the fact he had a zero tolerance policy for drinking and driving and he wasn't afraid to put me in my place on the matter. We met for a lunch date, just a simple burger and beer and then walked to a local brewery for another beer. When I went to get behind the wheel he boldly stated, "This isn't a dig at you but I'm not cool with drinking and driving." To which I responded, as many Americans would, "I've only had two beers." "Yes and that is two beers too many," he replied. He was right and he wasn't afraid to let me know. From that point on, we called a Taxi, Uber or walked whenever we went out and had a beer or cocktail. And this is the way it remains for us now. One of us stays sober and I mean actually sober. I never went out with the intention of drinking and driving. Although extremely unfortunate, in America it's socially acceptable to have a drink and drive as long as you don't drive drunk. However, the line between these is so thin, it practically doesn't exist. I'm not sure why in the United States the "DD" is usually the person who drinks the least, instead of the person who doesn't drink at all. Are we not capable of having a good time without having a drink? And for whatever reason, we worry most about getting pulled over instead of the real risks of ending someone's life. When we get behind the wheel to drive after having "just a few" drinks, we never think about the very real possibility of killing someone. We never think about the real possibility of killing an elementary school music teacher who was so bright, it's hard for family and friends to imagine life without her. We only think about ourselves...what will happen if I get a DUI? We are so small-minded we do not consider the real possibilities and consequences of our decisions. The consequences of having a drink and driving. Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves. To think back over the times I probably shouldn't have been behind the wheel and think I risked killing someone every time I was in that circumstance, is scary, horrifying and embarrassing. And painful as I mourn the loss of a friend. It drives me to seek forgiveness from God and above all else give God thanks for protecting others from me over and over again. I'm embarrassed to admit it took over 30 years and a rather crucial conversation between my now husband and I for me to redefine drinking and driving. The definition of drinking and driving is exactly that..having "a" drink, yes even 1 or 2, and getting behind the wheel. End of story. And as sad as this sounds, this was a big adjustment for me and took time for me to get used to (It's humiliating for me to admit this now but it's the truth). However, I'm so thankful to know I learned this lesson before I hurt or killed someone. Unfortunately, others haven't been so blessed. And it's times like these, when a friend has lost her life, I wonder why God protects some and not others. I have to believe God uses everything for His glory and good will come out of suffering (good in the God-sense not the human-sense). I believe this but it doesn't make the pain any easier. 1 Corinthians 10:23-24 "I have the right to do anything," you say - but not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything" - but not everything is constructive. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. I'm challenging you to not only make a commitment against drunk driving but make a commitment to not drink and drive. Support others around you who choose to go out and not drink because they are driving. There's something wrong with a culture in which we have to explain why we aren't having "one beer" when we say "I'm the designated driver." Let's commit to change that. A commitment, a DD and Caroline, Ashley Lucille  To the many friends whom birthdays I've missed over the past five years or to the handful of people who I owe a "thank you" card for a gift or celebration, my sincerest apologies. The truth is, I feel like I'm finally coming up for air after five long years.
This past month is the first time in I don't know how long, I actually remembered extended family and friends' birthdays. And although gifts and cards may still be delivered late, it is the first time since I started graduate school back in 2011, I even remembered them. (#winning #finally) These past 5 years of my life have been a whirlwind. Between advancing my career, finishing my doctoral degree, moving several times and working through a few personal struggles in my life, life has been overwhelming, to say the least. And I wonder how many people have looked at me and thought, "Geez she's not very thoughtful or thankful. What an ungrateful (insert foul language)." And to the folks who may have felt this way, I'm so sorry. I wasn't ungrateful, I was overwhelmed. And sure, I wrote all the birthdays in my beautiful, over-priced Erin Condren life planner but sometimes your day-to-day life is too busy to even look at your planner. Life is tough sometimes. And we each carry a different burden and deal with our burdens differently. It is easy to judge or think ill of someone for not living up to a societal or personal standard when you are looking in from the outside. However, when you are forced to walk a similar path, all of a sudden you understand. And if you are like me, you seek forgiveness for all the times you didn't understand. Or the times you judged someone for not living up to your standards. And you realize, standards don't actually matter in life. People matter. It's a silly example compared to what I've dealt with the last five years and an even sillier example compared to the burden some carry right now. But when I went away to college and came home for weekend visits, I remember some of my friends being upset because I didn't spend enough time with them. I struggled to balance time with my family, my boyfriend's family and friends in the short 48 hours I was actually in town. Some of my best friends really struggled with it until they were in the same situation and realized "the struggle IS real." It's hard to balance the demands of friends and family - and maybe a few of us still feel this way. Family and friends put demands on you and you just feel like you can't keep up sometimes. These struggles seem so incredibly small to the load I've carried in recent years but it's a simple example of how looking in from another place, positions you perfectly to judge without empathy. Each person copes with life's load differently and you know what? I'm incredibly grateful we all cope differently because we learn to manage our life from one another. If we all dealt with situations or stress or struggles the exact same way, we would likely not cope well at all. So although the differences between us give room for judgement and hurt feelings, if we embrace a spirit of understanding we might find ourselves stronger in the end. Proverbs 21:2 A person may think their own ways are right, but the LORD weighs the heart. I'm so thankful the Lord weighs our heart and intentions and not always our actions. I would be in BIG trouble if God judged me on etiquette and/or follow through. How great would it be if we let go of all these standards and went about our lives believing others have the best intentions, even if they miss the mark occasionally (or for 5 years in a row). What if we lived being understanding of others and allowed the Lord to judge their heart and intention. Happy Belated Birthday, a long Overdue thank you and a forgotten congrats, Ashley Lucille  I'm loving the Rio 2016 Summer Olympics. Go Team USA. Swimming, diving, gymnastics, beach volleyball...and all the other sports like handball - I mean, everyone deserves a chance at winning a medal, right? Last night I decided I would love to win an Olympic medal doing something...just not sure what that "something" is. And then I was reminded, I'm probably past my prime. However, if there's a 41 year old gymnast competing then maybe I have a chance.
Hold up...NO. I do not have a chance. And do you want to know why? Because I lack the motivation, determination and perseverance it takes to train like an Olympian. (Not to mention skill but even if I had the skill of Michael Phelps, I still would not be an Olympian.) Watching the Olympics is so much fun because it's the "Facebook version" of what it means to be an Olympian. The (mostly) good times. In the not-so-good times, I would fail. I can't motivate myself to get up at 6a to run for 40 minutes every day or stick to a 12-week half marathon training plan. So no, I will never be an Olympian. (Excuse me, I need a moment to accept this...) Okay, I'm over it. I will never been an Olympian. I'll never be "the best of the best" this side of heaven. However, being the "the best of the best" is relatively meaningless when you consider heaven. Those 20+ Gold medals around Michael Phelps's neck are meaningless after life on earth. His true identity, your true identity and my true identify will be revealed someday. And you either identify in Christ or you don't. That is all that matters. Steele Johnson and David Boudia did a great job highlighting this in their post medal-winning olympic dive interview. Check it out: http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/divers-johnson-and-boudia-rely-faith-put-minds-ease Let me stop and shout out a big "AMEN". I've never been prouder of two American Olympians. As I was searching for the link to this video clip, I learned they have given several interviews like this one in competitions leading up to the Olympics. And as interview video clips go, people across the world have butchered them for standing and speaking out about their faith in Christ. We praise the gay athlete for being true to his identity and celebrate Bruce "Caitlin" Jenner's ability to identify with his/her self...but we have a problem with two Christians identifying with Christ!?! The comments on the video clips are horrifying and heartbreaking. There is no quicker way to offend me and break my heart than to offend Christ or another one of my brothers or sisters in Christ. I don't use my beliefs to berate others and I certainly do not like when others do that to me. However, I know that my perseverance is in the hope I have in Christ. And I know that HIS love and sacrifice are so great that He even forgives and takes in the 'haters' posting on the video link, if they so choose to identify in Him. Romans 5:1-5 Therefore we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character and character, hope. And hope does not put to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. You see, I may not be an Olympian but I've got something better than an Olympian medal. I have a Savior in Christ, who IS my identity. Don't be defined by something this side of heaven, identify with Christ for He truly is "the best of the best" eternally. Medals, Olympians, and Christ, Ashley Lucille  I've been silent on the blog for quite awhile now. Honestly, I have struggled to find words to describe the heartache I feel for our world right now. Each morning I wake up to news alerts on my phone reporting another violent event in our world. A killing spree in Orlando, cops targeting black lives, people retaliating against cops, an explosion in France, a bombing in Kabal, a coup in Turkey....another day, another tragedy. It's been a constant in life.
Meanwhile I'm over here just trying to write a blog series dedicated to separating the sinner from sin, a blog dedicated to loving those different than you, those with sins that look different than your sins. Love the sinner, hate the sin. And yet I found myself at a loss for words because it seemed hate was winning. And then we have the 2016 Presidential election and just American politics in general. Hate is so woven into our political landscape it is hard to find truth in anyone's political platform. Compared to the hate and violence occurring across the globe, our political hate is...I guess it's just petty. However, it is so ugly and grotesque, it really discourages me. I'm tired of seeing hate towards Democrats. I'm tired of seeing hate towards Republicans. I'm tired of seeing hate towards Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. We are all to blame for the mess we are in and step one just might be ceasing all hatred and finding some way to unify. However, this hate is nothing...NOTHING... compared to the lives being lost across our world. This overwhelming feeling of hatred is interfering with my ability to find the words to motivate and inspire others in their faith. And honestly (in a spirit of transparency), there have been moments where I feel hopeless and discouraged. However...I am finding hope. In Isaiah. Who's Isaiah you ask? Isaiah was a prophet in the Old Testament and he wrote a rather large, complicated book in the bible. It's one of those books I hope my pastor doesn't teach from because I fear I will immediately 'zone out' in confusion. It's just so confusing and historical in nature but I recently decided to put my big girl panties on and tackle it. Yep, I'm really reading through Isaiah. It takes me several days to understand a single chapter at time but I'm slowly working my way through it. Let me be clear about my expectations for the book of Isaiah. I thought I would find a bunch of boring history and read about predictions that have since then come true. And although I do have to sift through history and I use about 3-4 other books to understand each chapter of Isaiah, it has given me hope in the midst of our current world. God's timing of leading me to the book of Isaiah is nothing short of perfect (Note: it took A LOT of motivation because the Old Testament just isn't my bread and butter. It's more like soggy, moldy bread to me. Sorry God. This girl will always love the New Testament). Well apparently moldy bread is exactly what I needed. It's how I have found hope for our country and hope for our world. The book of Isaiah is rescuing me from discouragement. Why? Because Isaiah (at least part of it) was written during a time when the people of Judah and Jerusalem were far, far from God. The first several chapters of this book alternate between descriptions of judgement and descriptions of blessings. If you read only the descriptions of judgement, you would see many similarities to our world. The deep rooted evil and the hate was equally, if not more, palpable in Judah and Jerusalem. But the Lord promised to wash away the filth and cleanse His people. He sent Jesus to save them (and us!). Isaiah 9: 2, 6-7 2. The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness, a light has dawned. 6. For to us a child is born, to us a son is given and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 7. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this. Jesus returned to earth to save the people from darkness. And to save US from our darkness. And His reign is forever. The peace is everlasting. So although it feels like hate is winning...it is not. Jesus is still our King. The darkness of this world will eventually fade away and we will have a peace that surpasses our understanding. His grace is enough. So here's my advice....don't let hate win. If you have faith, stand tall in your faith and realize hate doesn't win in the end. This ugly, horrific battle we are in right now...has already been won. There's no room for worry. There's no room for fear. There's only reason to trust God and honor the hope we have in Him. Isaiah 7:9b "...If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all." Violence, elections and HOPE, Ashley Lucille  So this is the third in a blog series I’ve titled #lovethesinnerexperiment. (To see more about this experiment, read the blog titled “An Experiment: Call All Sinners…yes, that means you! posted on April 27, 2016. Then Read “Liar, Liar Pants on Fire” posted on 05/04/16 and The Big “D” on 5/18/16. These blogs are really meant to be read as series.) I've been working on this blog entry for a few weeks but in light of the recent #Orlando mass shooting, I actually thought of jumping ahead to my thoughts on the LBGT community. However, I think prejudice, bigotry, racism and to a greater extent, hate played a huge role in the Orlando shooting. So I'm going to marinate on these ideas today and then I’m going to tackle some more ‘hot topic’ issues in these next few blogs…go big or go home right? My heart weeps for the victims, families, and friends of the Orlando shooting. And my heart weeps for our world. Irregardless of the reason behind this shooting, whether it be ISIS-related or a hate crime against the gay community or just a hate crime against humanity, sin is at the root of it. There isn’t all that much in the Bible on the word “racism”. And I think that’s a strong point in itself. Race is relatively irrelevant or at least it probably should be. We are all part of the human race and this proclamation started with creation: Genesis 1:26-27 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky over the livestock and all the wild animals and over the creatures that move along the ground. So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them: male and female he created them. If there were going to be more than the male/female division among us, this might have been a good place to address and it was not addressed so therefore in my eyes, it was probably irrelevant. Interestingly though, God did address a difference between Greeks and Jews (Greeks also known as Gentiles or non-Jews) so rather a difference of religion than race which is actually much more relevant to our current times than you might think. Romans 10:12 For there is no difference between Jew and Greek; the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him. And then He further solidifies that there is no partiality among those who believe in Him regarding race, ethnicity, background, or nation: Revelation 7:9 After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. And they cried out in a loud voice: “Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb.” For the sake of this concept, let's assume prejudice, racism, bigotry and the like are essentially the same. I actually "googled" the difference and it's interesting that most people basically describe these terms as levels whereas bigotry is stronger than prejudice and racism is stronger than bigotry. I don't necessarily agree but Google said so. However, since God doesn't really classify sin according to level, I'm going to go ahead and imply these terms as one in the same. I would imagine (and hope) that most people would admit prejudice, racism, bigotry, etc are wrong. And maybe you might go as far to openly deny the fact you are prejudice. However, if you dug deep enough in your own heart, I wonder how often we might find a resemblance of prejudice or discrimination lingering in our hearts. Here’s a list of hypotheticals for a quick heart check:
You might be laughing because I definitely deviated from “race” just a bit in my hypotheticals. However, all of these could be considered a prejudice of one sort of another. Since God didn’t really spell out race and he chose to address the feeling of superiority or favoritism in general, I thought I would follow His lead. Coca-cola took a similar approach to labels in an awesome experiment. Check it out: Making a prejudice, judgement, showing favoritism or partiality to others is a sin. (I don’t make the rules. It is spelled out in the bible. If you don’t believe the bible, that’s an entirely different conversation. There’s quite a bit of evidence proving its contents true.) James 2:8-9 If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself” you are doing right. But if you show favoritism (or partiality), you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. Okay now here is the really tough part if you have been a victim of prejudice, racism, etc: Loving your neighbor is tough when they are very, very, very different from you but it’s even tougher when your neighbor has displayed discrimination against you. But these verses don’t just apply to the racists or the guilty, they also apply to those persecuted. The victim of racism is to love the racist equally as the racist should love the victim. And I know this is tough. If a member of the KKK walked into a predominantly black church, I understand where it might be very hard to follow this commandment. But we are all sinners. And if you think about it, Jesus set an example for us. Jesus washed the feet of His disciplines…including Judas who betrayed him (to the point of contributing to the death of Jesus) and Peter who denied him. John 13:4-8 Jesus got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. He came to Peter who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” “No” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.” Jesus had to set aside the fact Peter would deny Him, in order to save him. We have to set aside of our judgement of others in order to share the love of Christ with others. And others includes people “from every nation, tribe, people and language”. Jesus didn’t abandon his disciples based on their background or their behavior. That’s the beauty (and mystery!) of our salvation. No matter where you are. No matter your struggle. No matter if you are a liar, a divorcee or a racist, we are all on equal playing field. And we are all invited to trust and love Jesus. Exactly how we are. And He washes each of our feet if we let Him. You don’t have to clean up your life (or feet) to be accepted by Jesus. He cleans your heart for you. His loves transforms you. I condemn racism, hatred, partiality, prejudice, etc. But I know I have to love the racist. I am commanded to love the racist, the divorcee, and the liar. I have to love because we are commanded to love each other, sin and all. Just as Jesus has done for us. Mark 12: 29-31 Jesus replied, “The most important is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The LORD our God is the only and only LORD. And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other command is greater than these.” I think one of the saddest things I've watched over the last couple of days is the hate crime that was the Orlando shooting actually igniting more hate and more prejudices in our society. This sin is rooted deep my friends. Racists, sinners and a Savior, Ashley Lucille   So this blog is the second in a blog series I’ve titled #lovethesinnerexperiment. After being rather embarrassed at the way Christians reacted to a fellow Christian openly expressing love and her genuine openness for the LBGT community, I thought I would try to magnify the vast amount of sin we all have in our lives and how just because the bible says someone’s actions are sin, does not mean we are justified to separate them out or separate them from God’s love. So I am going to do my best to humble all of us and shed light on God’s love for each of us…despite sin. (To see more about this experiment, read the blog titled “An Experiment: Call All Sinners…yes, that means you! posted on April 27, 2016. Then Read “Liar, Liar Pants on Fire” posted on 05/04/16. These blogs are really meant to be read as a series.)
The next sin up applies to approximately 40-50% of Americans. And it also applies to 40-50% of Christians. The sin is the big “D” (and I don’t mean Dallas…sorry, I just couldn't resist. If you don't know the reference, you are missing out on a country music classic.). I’m talking Divorce. Divorce can be a bit confusing in the bible. Not confusing in the fact that it is not what God intended for us but confusing because there’s reference in the Old Testament to divorce more or less being accepted ('accepted' might be a strong word). I’m going to do my best to simplify the situation for us using New Testament scripture, that references the Old Testament. But again, my ongoing disclaimer is that I am not a bible scholar. I’m just a less than average Christian doing my best to study God’s word and share what God puts on my heart. Matthew 19:3-10 Some Pharisees came to him to test him (to test Jesus). They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” (this is Jesus speaking now!) “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” “Why then,” they asked “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”. Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wifes because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, expect for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Italics are mine to clarify who is speaking.) Now, if you are feeling like divorce isn’t a big deal these days or the thought that "divorce is wrong" is outdated, I apologize for being blunt. But it is a sin. I don’t make the rules. It is spelled out in the bible. Divorce is not the way God intended for us. If you don’t believe the bible, that’s an entirely different conversation. There’s quite a bit of evidence proving its contents true. Much like the LBGT community, in some circumstances is being shut out of society and is the political 'hot topic' right now, there was a time in society, where the 'hot topic' was actually divorce. People going through a divorce were separated out; divorce was only permitted if there was someone “at fault” like if someone had an affair. I can imagine in the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s when divorce was being “legalized” that church goers had something to say about it. Maybe at the very least a divorce person was looked down upon. And honestly, before I actually went through a divorce myself, I did always have a “you didn’t try hard enough” or “I don’t believe in divorce” attitude. And if I’m completely transparent, I definitely had a hint of judgement in my heart towards people who were divorced (just being honest!). And then I went through it. And it was horrible and painful and awful. And the ONLY thing that got me through it was my relationship with Christ. I cannot imagine how lost and alone I would have felt if I was separated from God’s love during that time. Or if I had been separated from my church. John 3:17-21 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God. I’m so thankful that my closest friends didn’t leave me in the dark, “divorce” category and separate me from the love and support I so very much needed. You need the light (Jesus) so you can work your way out of the darkness. If we turn our back on people going through darkness, what hope do they have of rescue? What hope do they have of ever knowing Jesus? And I’m so incredibly grateful God never abandon me in my darkness. That’s the beauty (and mystery!) of our salvation. No matter where you are. No matter your struggle. No matter if you going through a divorce or been happily married for 60 years, we are all on equal playing field. And we are ALL invited to trust and love Jesus. Exactly how we are. You don’t have to clean up your life to be accepted by Jesus. In fact, it is actually impossible to clean up your life in order to meet God’s standards. In the case of my divorce, it is really impossible because it is not something I can undo! I have asked for forgiveness and am starting over in marriage. And thankfully Jesus still accepts me because He accepts us regardless of our sins (yes, all of your sins) and His loves transforms you. (I'll be blogging about this transformation after this series is over. It is an important part of the story.) And that saving that Jesus came to do (see John 3:17), it extends so far and wide. When I finally came to terms with the fact I was getting a divorce, a really cool thing happened. I prayed God would use my experience to bless others. And I cannot tell you how many people He has blessed through my experience. My faithfulness and commitment to Him has been a blessing to my life and the lives of others. And looking back, God used the experience to put me in a way better place all around. And for that, I am very thankful. Don’t misunderstand me. I condemn divorce, even having gone through it. It is wrong and I know I will have to stand accountable for my wrongs before God someday. Thankfully I know Jesus will be standing right there with me. However, I will always show love toward someone going through a divorce, especially a woman going through a divorce. There's just a special place in my heart for a woman going through that pain. And anyhow, we are to love each other, sin and all. Just as Jesus has done for us. Mark 12: 29-31 Jesus replied, “The most important is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The LORD our God is the only and only LORD. And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other command is greater than these.” Divorces, sinners and a Savior, Ashley Lucille Just for those interested in the description of what Jesus refereed to regarding hard hearts during Moses's time…I read a little deeper to figure out what was going on in the Old Testament that would permit such a thing as divorce. I found Deuteronomy 24 interesting. I’m not going to get too long winded here, but feel free to check it out.  So this blog kicks off my #lovethesinnerexperiment. After being rather embarrassed at the way Christians reacted to a fellow Christian openly expressing love and her genuine openness for the LBGT community, I thought I would try to magnify the vast amount of sin we all have in our lives and how just because the bible says someone’s actions are sin, does not mean we are justified to separate them out or separate them from God’s love. So for the next several days, I am going to do my best to humble all of us and shed light on God’s love for each of us…despite sin. (To see more about this experiment, read the blog titled “An Experiment: Call All Sinners…yes, that means you!" posted on April 27, 2016.)
I figured I would kick off this experiment with a sin I’m quite familiar with because I inadvertently committed this sin in my blog post on April 27, 2016; the sin is LYING. I planned on starting the blog series this past Monday and as you can see, it is Wednesday and this is our kickoff. When I planned on starting the blog, I knew I had quite a bit of work (and prayer) to do before I wrote this series and I knew I was going out of town and had a busy weekend. So despite best intentions, I didn’t actually kick this off Monday. So indeed, I am a liar. And the Bible is pretty clear-cut on the definition of lying as a sin. The third chapter of Colossians describes in detail the new life we gain through Christ and specifically instructs us to turn from sin in our old life (life before we accept Jesus is our Savior). It specifically highlights lying in the following: Colossians 3:9 Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old evil nature and all its wicked deeds. See it’s pretty clear, lying is of an evil nature. And the Bible spells out lying as a sin way back in the Old Testament as one of the 10 Commandments given to Moses by God. Exodus 20:16 Do not testify falsely against your neighbor. (testify falsely = lie) Now, if you are feeling like lying isn’t a big deal, I apologize for being blunt. But lying is a sin. I don’t make the rules. It is spelled out in the bible. If you don’t believe the bible, that’s an entirely different conversation. There’s quite a bit of evidence proving its contents true. And I’m fairly confident every single one of my readers has told a lie. Some lies are intentional and some are accidental (like my lie about starting this blog series on Monday). Some lies are deep and dark (like the book I’m reading where the author’s parents lied to her about not being adopted when she really was) and some are lighter and less damaging (like when I told my niece she couldn’t climb a tree because it was illegal). However, all lies are the same in God’s eyes. Sin. From my perspective, lying is a rather easy sin to fall into. If there were a scale, and there is not, lying would probably fall on the opposite end of the spectrum from let’s say a sin like murder. And I think that makes it easier for Christians to be less judgmental (and dare I say less hateful) towards people that lie versus people who commit murder. But this is the thing. There isn’t a spectrum. Sin is sin. We are all equal in God’s eyes. That’s the beauty (and mystery!) of our salvation. No matter where you are. No matter your struggle. No matter if you tell lies all the time or you’ve told just a lie or two in your life, we are all on equal playing field. And we are all invited to trust and love Jesus. Exactly how we are. You don’t have to clean up your life to be accepted by Jesus. In fact, it is actually impossible to clean up your life in order to meet God’s standards. Jesus accepts you regardless of your sins (yes, all of your sins) and His loves transforms you. That transformation gives you the motivation, the will and the ability to try to resist sin. Will you resist sin all the time? Heck no! But each time you fail, you get to go to Jesus and be wrapped in forgiveness. He picks you up and you get to try again. And again. And again. Because you will fail again and again and again. Now I’ve never seen anyone bat an eye at a liar walking into church. So I’m not sure why some Christians feel we should create a spectrum and turn a blind eye to some sin while openly condemning others. Don’t misunderstand me. I condemn lying. However, God has made it clear I am to love liars. Because liars are sinners. And sinners are people. And His commandment on loving each other is clear. Mark 12: 29-31 Jesus replied, “The most important is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The LORD our God is the only and only LORD. And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other command is greater than these.” So I'm calling all liars. You won't find me judging you. I'll leave that to God. I will do my part to accept you, fellowship with you, support you, share God's truths with you and love you. Because I am you. We are all in this sin thing together. Thankfully we can also all have Jesus. Liars, sinners and a Savior, Ashley Lucille #lovethesinnerexperiment |
Ashley Lucille
Just a few reflections about everything God is teaching me in this life...a journey deeper into His purpose for my life. Archives
July 2018
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